Generosity Is New McGuffin Every D&D Player Should Be Looking For
Being generous benefits everyone at the table, including you
When I run games, I, like many others, do so with a DM philosophy. You can read all about that in my article What Does An E.P.I.C D&D Game Look Like?
But, what you might might know, is that I have a player philosophy and it’s much simpler than my DM philosophy and only has two words: Be Generous.
What does player generosity look like, to me?
It looks like silence.
If you watch our Monday night Shadowdark games, you will notice that I, and the other players, will have long pauses of silence and I think this is because we are all listening for the story beats and give each other a chance to advance each other’s story.
When I sit down for a game I am looking to be generous in 2 ways
Generous To My DM/GM
Because I have been a DM/GM for over 20 years I know what a DM/GM has gone through to sit behind that screen. It’s cost them time, maybe some money and a little bit of mental sweat equity. They’ve put the work in and I want to reward them with generosity.
There can be all kinds of noise at an RPG table
people shopping
people asking rules questions
people trying to get their character into the spotlight
The DM has to manage all this.
This is where, I think, the generosity of silence shines. I think a DM is more apt to notice what is not being said versus all the noise. A DM will notice someone who is patient versus someone who is pushy.
With my silence I am allowing my DM to introduce some bit of lore or a room description and that my character can take advantage of.
Generous to my fellow players
If you are commiting a few hours to a cooperative game like Dungeons and Dragons, or any rpg, it pays offs, for everyone if you come to the table with the intent of being generous, in and out of character.
In D&D, generosity isn't just about giving away gold or items. It's about sharing resources, knowledge, and even personal risks to benefit the group. This can manifest in various ways, from offering healing spells to sharing information or taking on a dangerous role.
As a player, whether in a home group or at a con, I have a choice to make; I can try to push my character into the spotlight or I can try to pull other people’s characters to center stage. The latter, for me, is more fun and is more beneficial to the party.
Here are a few in game benefits of intentional generosity
Improved Relationships
A generous player often builds stronger bonds with their party members, leading to increased trust, loyalty, and cooperation. I trust that I will get back what I put in and more often than not, I am reward for that trust.
Reputation and Influence
A reputation for generosity can earn respect and influence within the game world, opening doors to new opportunities and alliances.
Divine Favor
If the DM is looking to surprise and delight the players, they may allow some deity to reward our acts of generosity, granting blessings, boons, or even divine magic. This happened in ou Monday night game when my Character Elinar met her Fey patron, Tatianna.
Inspiration and Motivation
A generous player can inspire their party members to be more selfless and cooperative, leading to greater success in their adventures. If you don’t like the party having the status of Murder Hobos, then playing your character, generously, could turn that around.
Personal (Character) Growth
Acts of generosity can help a character develop important virtues like compassion, selflessness, and empathy. Once again, if you or others, have been selfish or Murder Hobos, being generous allows the DM to show that there are more benefits in generosity than selfishness.
I would conclude with this, when I hear rpg horror stories, they seemed to be rooted in selfish behavior
a DM who is hell bent on telling a certain story
a player who won’t shut up and constantly vies for the spotlight
a PC who constantly puts the party at risk with dangerous behavior
Being generous, I find, makes me a player, and a DM, people want to call to play, or run, because they know I’m not just showing up for me.
Everyone who shows up to play an rpg, wants to have fun. Each player may also have their own definition of fun. For me, fun is helping others shine and, in the process, I get to watch a story unfold, watch my party succeed and watch my own character grow in ways that selfish play would never have revealed to me.
But, what do you think?
Do think having a generosity mindset is as much a required piece of equipment as a torch or rations? Let me know.
I think it’s worth teasing out the three levels at which I think ‘generosity’ operates at the table. I list them in what I regard as their order of importance.
First, at the topmost meta-level, is the conduct between players and GM at the table. This is the most salient because it is real and it necessarily underpins all that follows. Doesn’t matter what it’s called - civility, social grace, common sense. I actually think ‘generosity’ is a very good catch-all term.
Second, the lower meta-level where I, as a player, knowing what another player wants to achieve or play out in the game, acts as my character to allow their character to do that which they desire. This need not, of course, amount to ‘helping’ in any in-game sense. The other player might want their character to experience disappointment or frustration or betrayal and so my character’s words and actions could conceivably be extremely ‘ungenerous’ in some senses.
Third, and least important to me, is whether my character is ‘generous’ within the fiction. I’m not that interested in playing heroes or ‘good guys’ (in fact, my most recent post is an argument for why one should consider playing unsympathetic characters) and I don’t care much if my character is disliked by the other characters or within the context of the setting. Obviously, there are limits to this - I’m as uninterested in playing tiresome two-dimensional villains that can so easily fracture group cohesion as I am in depicting boring cardboard cut-out heroes. This is not to say that ‘generous’ characters can’t be interesting but, for me, they are often more compelling to play as Candide-like characters - naïfs in a cruel world.