A Jr. High Wizard's Guide To Alternative Spells
From Across The Multiverse Of The Worlds Oldest RPG
Sup, my names Asher and I’m in Jr. High, specifically 7th Grade. The guy typing this wants me to tell you he got this idea from a live Youtube show called Saturdays With Sean. Whatever.
Anyway, my dad was talking to me about the spells he used to cast as a kid, and they were kind of lame so I decided to write my own spell book and spice things up a bit.
Asher’s Stinkin’ Cloud Of Flatulence (that’s a fancy word for farts 🤣)
This spell is like the ultimate prank for those losers who keep messing with you. It creates a giant cloud of MEGA-STINK that makes everyone cough and barf (except for those nerds who don't breathe, like skeletons). Here's what you gotta do:
Totally Wicked Components
One REALLY rotten egg (like, the green kind that smells like gym socks)
OR a taco with extra hot sauce.
The Cast:
Chant "Stinkin' Cloud, I command thee!" then I lift my right leg and in your most dramatic voice. (Bonus points for using a deep, scary villain voice.)
I am aim my finger (like a laser beam) at where I want the cloud to appear.
Hurl the rotten egg (or the taco, unless I’ve eaten it) at the target with all your might!
The Effect (Totally Wicked)
POOF! A giant cloud of purple, smelly gas appears. It's SO gross it makes everyone completely inside it gag and lose their turn in combat. They basically just stand there and heave like they ate cafeteria mystery meat. Losers!
But Wait, There's More!
Even if someone escapes the cloud, they're still gonna be messed up for a while. They gotta roll a dice (CON) to see how long the stink sticks with them, making them cough and giving them disadvantage on attacks (like, they can't even see straight from all the watering eyes!).
Warning
This spell might backfire if there's a strong breeze (like 10 mph or more). The wind will blow the cloud away after a few rounds, which could totally mess up your prank. So cast it indoors or when it's nice and calm outside. Trust me, you don't want to be caught in this cloud yourself!
Anyway, the guy typing this keeps bothering me and asking you to comment if you like this stuff if and if you want to hear more about my spells.
I hope you do because I have a whole bunch of them.
Ok ok, calm down old guy! And don’t forget to subscribe.